27 May Keeping it real
I can not seem to feel that effervescence of life and love and joy that I know is right there, on the other side of my mind’s chatter. There is a heavy cloud obscuring my view. I am weighed down by an opaque blanket of doubt. I can not see, remember, feel or believe in what I know I have experienced in the past. My mind and memory tell me what’s possible but I viscerally don’t feel it. I feel sad and lost.
Cathy, to be human is to doubt and to lapse and to experience disconnection. All I ask is that you be present to your experience. Being spiritual does not mean being happy all the time. How can you be happy in the face of yesterday’s supreme court decision and the world’s ills. It is not natural to be elated and ethereal all the time. What I want for you is to embrace how you feel, honor it,learn from it, then share it by being real. You will be alleviated of your human pain only when you face it, examine it’s remnants and move on.
I do not want you happy. I want you real. If a cloud hovers over you, thank it for blocking the sun. If a blanket covers you, thank it for its protection. Everything, everything, everything, in every minute, is perfect.
Awareness and acceptance. That is what I want for you and from you.